Sunday, November 16, 2008

Kaylee Ann Jensen

Last Tuesday November 11th marked the four year anniversary that I gave birth to our heaven bound little girl. Sometimes it seems like yesterday that we were holding her in our arms and at the same time we have been so blessed with many things since her passing. For the last few weeks I've been experiencing many emotions anticipating this date that marked a mortal experience that didn't just "influence" my life but rather "changed" my life. "I know that my Reedemer Lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives! He lives, he lives, who once was dead. He lives, my ever living head." In Job 14:14 we read "If a man die, shall he live again?" Job answers his own question in chapter 19:25-26 "For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God". I have been taught my entire life about the Plan of Salvation and yet sometimes the only way we can truly learn is by experience. Isn't that the reason we are all here? If we turn to the scriptures we can find answers to our questions. Four years ago I needed to know, not just have faith or hope, that I would be with my daughter again. In the bible, specifically John 20 we learn about the first resurrected person, our Savior Jesus Christ. Mary Magdelene has gone to the tomb and found it empty... Verses 12-17 "And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain. And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him. And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? Whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away. Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say Master." In the Book of Mormon we have another account of people seeing the resurrected Savior. In 3 Nephi 17 we learn about Jesus visiting the Nephites who lived on the American Hemisphere. 3 Nephi 17:25 "And the multitude did see and hear and bear record; and they know that their record is true for they all of them did see and hear, every man for himself; and they were in number about two thousand and five hundred souls; and they did consist of men, women, and children." In this dispensation their have been new witnesses to the resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. In the spring of 1820 a young Joseph Smith adds his witness of seeing God the Father and his son Jesus Christ while in the Sacred Grove. Later, Joseph sees the Savior again along with Oliver Cowdery in the Kirtland Temple. D&C 110:2-4 "We saw the Lord standing upon the breastwork of the pulpit, before us;...His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah saying: I am the first and the last; I am he who liveth, I am he who was slain; I am your advocate with the Father". In 3 Nephi 23:9-10 we learn about the Saviors postmortal ministry. In modern day revelation, President Joseph F. Smith gives us more knowledge about the spirit world and life after death. His Vision of the Redemption of the Dead answers the question of what happens to a person once he dies? "Gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality; And had ...suffered tribulation in their Redeemer's name. All these had departed the mortal life, firm in the hope of a glorious resurrection... They were filled with joy and gladness, and were rejoicing together because the day of their deliverance was at hand. They were assembled awaiting the advent of the Son of God into the spirit world, to declare their redemption from the bands of death... While this vast multitude waited and conversed, rejoicing in the hour of their deliverance from the chains of death, the Son of God appeared, declaring liberty to the captives who had been faithful; And there he preached to them the everlasting gospel, the doctrine of the resurrection and the redemption of mankind from the fall, and from the individual sins on condition of repentance... And the saints rejoiced in their redemption, and bowed the knee and acknowledged the Son of God as their Redeemer and Deliverer from death and the chains of hell. Their countenances shone, and the radiance from the presence of the Lord rested upon them, and they sang praises unto his holy name". As I was mourning the loss of our baby I studied the scriptures to find understanding. I read example after example of "life after death", the scriptures are full of stories of our resurrected Savior and "eternal life" but somehow I still struggled. One night while reading in D&C 6:23 in a revelation given to Joseph Smith, the Lord is speaking to Oliver Cowdery when The Lord answers Oliver's questioning by saying: "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?" I knew that this was also my answer. Through prayer my Heavenly Father had already let me know that everything was "okay." This is the greatest witness we can obtain about the truth of not only life after this life but any question we might have. We do not have to rely on "experts", "scholars", or other witnesses, we only have to rely on the Lord. Christ taught, "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live." When our little girl was born we did not give her a name. We prayed about it and felt like we didn't need to. Over the last several months I have felt like I wanted to give her a name. Travis has shared this feeling. We have decided to name her Kaylee Ann Jensen. She shares her middle name with her little sister Sadie. We have many friends who have lost babies prematurely as we did and many who have lost children after their life was cut short for other reasons. We all have had experiences in our lives where we need to rely on the Lord, my hope is that we remember to do that. I know that we will be with our daughter as well as others who have gone before us. We love you Kaylee Ann, you are such a special part of our family and will always be with us.

10 comments:

Laura said...

We will always love Kaylee Ann Jensen! She is what sealed us together as friends for eternity. I loved all the scripture references and appreciated the peace that was reinterated to my heart. I love you Adrienne! May our sweet girls find each other in heaven. I can see it now, "Hi, I'm Kaylee, you must be Gabrielle!" "Come with me Kaylee and meet my little sister, Sam" Love you always!

Kenn and Natalie said...

What a special experience. Thanks so much for sharing it. I really admire your strength,faith and testimony. Your family is blessed to have a mom with such great faith.

TJ said...

Thanks for sharing Ade. I am totally crying, but I am glad that you seem to be at peace with her and I am glad that you finally decided to give her a name, she was and always will be a part of our family and like you...I too am looking forward to meeting her as her aunt when that time comes. You are such a good example of faith and strength to me and to our family. Loves.

Susan said...

Thanks for sharing - you have an awesome testimony. This season brings a lot of emotion for me too. Friday marks the 8th anniversary of the death of my Mom and two weeks later, the 7th anniversary of the death of my little brother. I think that once you lose someone close to you - it's then that you really search for and receive a testimony of the plan of salvation because it becomes more real. Thank heavens we have it! OXOXOX

iwhisper said...

Dear Adrienne, Travis, and kids,

What adorable children you have!!!!! I love you all so much and am thrilled I get to see such recent photos of all of you.

Thank-you, Adrienne, for writing about sweet Kaylee Ann. I loved her the moment I found out you were pregnant with her. And although she left us so quickly, her presence has impacted our lives then and always.

Lovingly, Erin, Mom, (Grandma Jensen)

Heidi said...

Adrienne, I wasn't blessed to know your little Kaylee but I have been lucky enough to know you. I am so grateful for your testimony and faith, you are such an inspiration to us all! This is such a sweet post and what lucky children to have the opportunity to be born under the covenant to such amazing parents!

becca said...

That was beautiful, Adrienne. Thanks for sharing. How grateful we are for our Savior, His resurrection and Atonement.

Rusty and Tara said...

Adrienne,
Thank you for sharing that. My best friend gave birth to a stillborn baby 2 months ago and it is comforting to read the words of the prophets, and accounts from the scriptures. I'm going to refer her to your blog.

Rogerson's said...

Amazing all that can happen in four short years... still sorry I missed being there then, but so amazed to know you and watch in amazement at your strength. So many who know you and read this are blessed by you!! Thx for keeping old friends around :)

Hansen said...

Adrienne, I'll never forget when I heard the news of Kaylee, I called you and I don't know if you remember, but I sobbed while you kept telling me it was okay. It broke my heart, but you already KNEW that Kaylee would be with you again. I thought this post was so beautiful, and it made me cry all over again! I felt the Spirit as I read, so thank you! And I absolutely love the name Kaylee. Mitsy took my advice years ago to name her little girl Kaylie, I told her it was Casey & Hollie swirled! :) You are awesome and I love you!