Friday, September 18, 2009

Shopping Therapy 101


Warning: This post contains ranting, whining and complaining...read at your own risk.

Some people think I'm crazy, some people know I'm crazy but I think I'm just human. I'm usually a pretty good budgeter. I pay my bills on time, donate to charity, put some away for a rainy day...you know the usual stuff. Well, every so often, usually when Travis has been out of town for a while or I've had a really busy/long day, week, month I go crazy. I could feel this day building all week. Travis was in Vegas all week and I was home running from one place to another to another, fighting off a cold and slowly but surely going from productive, to neutral, to survival mode. Friday morning I woke up and planned to go to the gym, as usual, come home and clean, as usual, take care of all my home making, mothering, housekeeping, taxi driving, bum wiping, dog training, cooking, homework doing, spiritual feeding, primary calling, email responding duties as usual but then I said NO--I'm going to the Mall already! I shipped the older ones off to school via the lovely bus system and began preparation. Went to my closest, put on my 1 pair of jeans I wear everyday, a semi decent shirt and heels. That's right heels. If you are a true shopping diva you will wear heels to the mall and you will like it and own it and pretend that it is completely normal for you to do this while toting your two tiny tykes behind you. Now your tiny tykes cannot be wearing their Erie rec baseball t-shirt and stained onesie when you go on therapeutical trips of this sort. Times like this require you to pull out the trendy outfits with all matching accessories for them... again pretending like they look like this everyday, all day and at all times. Once you arrive at the mall it is important to remember that this is therapy and in order to save your household from being motherless because if you don't fully engage in your therapy session you are very likely to call a sitter, head to DIA and take the first flight to anywhere, never to return. Rules are that you go to any store you like, you buy what you want and you don't only look at sales racks. Next you get yourself some lunch-- and I mean you buy what you want and you buy what your little ones want and you don't do the "Well if I buy this meal, then Sadie can eat this part of it and Reece can eat this part of it and it will save me at least $2.00, and we will just drink water". You get the diet coke and you are allowed to enjoy it. Another rule is you are allowed to say yes to your kids. If they ask you to buy the $.025 gumball you buy it, if they want a cookie at Mrs. Fields you buy it, if they have already eaten a cookie and ask for an icecream cone that's fine too. By the end of the day you feel like a good mom (because you have said yes to everything instead of no to everything for once), your therapy session has been a success and you have saved your family from utter destruction. You go home and are ready to greet your other kiddos returning from their day at school and everybody lives happily ever after. Considering the last time I had a therapy session the cure was I booked a family trip to DisneyWorld (after Travis had been home a total of 4 days in January). I feel today was a small dent and highly successful. You may have to eat Top Ramen and wheat from your food storage for the next three weeks to make up for your little shopping tantrum...I mean therapy, but hey, at least you will look good doing it!!
The spoils breakdown as follows:
Mom-3 items
Reece-4 items
Sadie-12 items (how does that always happen?)

Those that say shopping can't buy you happiness have never been to Gymboree, Hanna Andersson or Jack and Janie.
And yes after my long day of therapy I'm ordering pizza for dinner!!!

13 comments:

Susan said...

Amen! You are my hero!

(So, did you earn gymbucks? I didn't do it the last time and had serious withdrawls... so I have some this time, and now I'm anxiously waiting for the Oct. 1 redemption period to start... let me know and we can form a support group and go shopping... I mean have a meeting... )

Paige said...

You CRACK me up! I've had similar experiences - not the dressing up to go out part, though - but then I get buyers' remorse and have to take stuff back. Total buzz kill.

Tara said...

Sign me up!
I especially like the part about wearing heels. I've never thought of that one!

Heidi said...

Wow, you are my hero!!! I usually talk myself out of said trips, but next time I just might indulge a little! Oh, and can I just say that I could eat Sadie up? She is too cute for words!!!

Kristin said...

I felt that way the other day except it was 9:00 at night so I couldn't do the awesome shopping thing. So instead I went out the door to go running and decided I wasn't coming back. Oh except I forgot I had to get back to feed the baby. Darn it!

TJ said...

Saide is way too cute...can't wait for the day when I have a girl and I get all your indulgences...so no giving them away! :)

Burke and JeriLynn Phillips Family said...

You are definitely my sister. I didn't know how you did it with Travis gone all the time, but now I do. You rock!

Laura said...

THIS is why we are friends! I get the heels. I get the 1 pair of jeans. I get the spending real money and not all on sale items. I get the meltdown. AND I also get the renewed feeling. We are good moms. We do what we are supposed to, and every once in a while we need one of those days! You can email me the pictures of you in the new digs. LOVE Sadie's outfit! Look how big she is! Love you, Laura

The Durham Family said...

LOVE IT!!! The only problem with me - I don't have a mall close by. So when I need "therapy", my excursion involves a 2-3 hour drive, lots of food, and of course - my kiddo's! But, you're right - it is worth it! Good job Mom! Your kids will think you are an awesome mom! We have to indulge every once in a while - otherwise, what do they have to look forward too? :)

Raechel said...

That was therapy for me just reading it, I feel so refreshed! I can live vicariously through you right?

Ryan Carrie Emma Riley Max Brody said...

I never thought of the heels - that's great! And Sadie could not be any cuter:)

Hansen said...

Oh my gosh, You make me laugh so hard! MY SIDE! Oh, you kill me! I seriously was just picturing you getting ready and getting your kids all pimped out! Hilarious! The few and i mean few times i have been to the mall, i have seen the mom's like you all gorgeous with their perfect kids, and then i hang my head, and walk quickly to the "Children's Place" in my sweatshirt and ponytail with my screaming children all so i can redeem that one stupid 10 dollar coupon they sent me in the mail! :)

Kenn and Natalie said...

That was awesome!! I need more of those days! Today I rushed to Walmart with my 5 bed head kids, some still in the pj's, no make-up, just praying I didn't run into anyone I knew. The first person I saw was my next door neighbor...oh well.