Tuesday, October 5, 2010

You are of worth, of Infinite Worth

Today as I listened to this song by Miley Cyrus I reflected on a recent experience I had.

"I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

I was at the mall a few days ago in a popular store.  There were several teenage girls there with their mothers and the girls were picking out and trying on dresses for the upcoming Homecoming Dance at the local high schools. 
I look forward to the day when I can take my own daughter shopping and have "girl time" together.   Unfortunately the feelings I had while in this store were so opposite of what they should have been. 

The dresses that these beautiful girls were trying on were so inappropriate for who they are.  I was crying inside.  I watched these girls try on dresses that were too short, too tight, too skimpy and too "grown up".  I also watched the mother's acting more like peers than parents.  

My heart was breaking. 
I was quiet on the outside but on the inside I was screaming!! 

I wanted to take the girls in my arms and shake them and say:

"Do you know that you are worth so much more than what that dress shows you as?
Do you know how valuable you are?
Do you know that you are already beautiful and you don't have to wear things that diminish that beauty.
You are of worth! Of INFINITE worth!"

Parenting isn't a popularity contest.  

Our children deserve so much more than that.  

Call me old fashioned but I still believe it is a parent's responsibility to teach and rear their children and parents will be held accountable for the way they do or don't do this.  

Why did these mother's approve of their daughters wearing things that take away from their true beauty and show them as objects rather than self confident, strong, respected, beautiful young women that they are?

It is easy to be discouraged.  It's easy to think that morals and values are out of date, out of style and things of a past world, a different time--- but they aren't.  

Instilling morals and values in our children and in our society are more important than ever.  I think about the heartache that comes when you dismiss it too easily.

Society likes to teach if you restrict, discipline or "preach" too much than you are limiting your children and crushing "who they are" and it labels you as being "close minded."  

I say if you are too open minded your brain falls out.  

If you don't restrict some things for your children then natural consequences of actions (teen pregnancy, drug addiction, lost opportunity from failing grades etc.) will restrict your child for you.  

If you don't preach to your children about the things you feel are important who will?  I'll tell you who will--peers, media-including TV shows-music and lyrics--magazines etc., society, popular trends of the day, and anyone else they come in contact with.
There is a lot of good in the world.  More good than bad.  

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I think this song can be applied to parenting.  There are always going to be things we as parents want for our children.  Sometimes it will be an uphill battle, sometimes we are going to lose.  Sometimes we might get knocked down but we can't break. We have to keep trying.  Always trying.  We have to be strong.  Push on.

The one part of the song I disagree with is where she says "Ain't about what's waiting on the other side" because it is EXACTLY about what is on the other side.  We have a goal for our children and we have to keep our "eye on the prize." We cannot let our view get skewed with all the distractions in the path.  We have been entrusted with these precious children and the responsibility is ours.  We can do it.

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on"


Jaime said...

Well said, Adrienne. I couldn't agree more...for once. Ha ha

Susan said...

Well said!

Tara said...

"I say if you are too open minded your brain falls out"


Paige said...

Ditto Tara:)

Quinton J said...

I’ve been ready this book called: ‘Genreation Me’ and your post resonated with me. The book basically talks about some of the effects of this ‘laid back’ parenting style on the generation to come. It’s not good. I’m with you…I’m more old school. I think these parents who try to be ‘friends’ with their kids are really skirting their responsibilities as a parents and I think that they think it’s cool. Really there is nothing more uncool than a trashy looking kid or worse…a child who unnecessarily struggles through life with issues (teen pregnancy, drugs, etc.) that could have been avoided had they had a REAL parent around to help guide them to better choices instead of an older buddy.

This parenting thing is tough. But there are consequences for those who take an easy route or no route at all. In the end we can only do the best with our own little ones. You’re doing great by-the-way…I’ve been in the crates of this blog and your family is beautiful. You are an amazing mom and you are blessed.

Carrie said...

You have such a great way of putting things! I love this post!

Hollie said...

You hit it right on! And I like that song too. :) I agree with Carrie, you really do have a way of putting things. Love ya A!

Chad said...

I took the family to a Glendale Italian restaurant on Saturday night, and there must have been 60 of these HS girls with a few dates all dressed up for Homecoming. Other diners were gasping aloud at some of the dresses. I'm a pretty permissive guy, and I wanted to lecture some of those girls. Alas, they were pretty intimidating, so I kept quiet.

Alli grins said...

Agreed! It is scary thinking of the worldly pressure our kids have, but yours are lucky to have a good Mama to help guide them.

Laura said...


I have always said how absolutely brilliant you are and I am proud to say that you never fail me! I love this! Love the song, love the insight, love YOU! Thank you so much for the other day! ~Laura